Someone once told me, "Everyone lies." Really? I don't. Now I don't mean the, "This tofu turkey is delicious!" kind of lie. I'm talking about the broken promises kind. When I was around 12 (or 13 most likely, because that was the year my mother told
everyone that she didn't think she'd survive!), I remember lying to my father about having completed a homework assignment. I didn't have the sense to cross it off in my homework assignment book - I attended a convent school, what can I say, we had homework assignment books - so when he asked to see the book, there was my lie...in ink! Yes, he was angry, and yes I was punished, but more than that, I could tell he was disappointed. I never wanted to disappoint him again. Now I realize that that goal is far fetched and can cause years of therapy, but the truth is it became a foundational character building block for me. To this day I don't want to disppoint people. I don't believe in breaking promises. I don't lie. So when someone breaks a promise to me, particularly when it's someone I trust, I'm devastated. Not only does it tell me I misjudged the character of the person but because it shows that the person has no respect for me.
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Truth is such a slippery thing. We each have to "face the truth" sometime, but which truth? Yours? Mine? Theirs? Trust is something that you build over time. Do I trust someone I just met? No. That would not be prudent. Do I believe what someone tells me? Depends on time. If I just met them, I may take it with a grain of salt. If I have known them for a while, then I can better judge what to believe, and what not to believe. Everything in our lives shape us, change us, influence us. How we use it, is another story.
ReplyDeleteLife moves too quickly. We don't always the luxury of time in which to allow trust to build. I believe we have two choices: take people at face value or distrust them. I tend to do the former.
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